All of the (tons of) responses, to all of the updates I sent out, were incredibly meaningful, personal, and touching. There really aren't words to express how much every one means to me. The following messages are some of those that were among the most powerful. My apologies to those who sent them, as I don't have their permission to share them. I'm torn as to whether to credit the thoughts, or obscure the names. For now, I'll obscure identities.
P- Thanks again for your note...I'm sure it was a tough one to do. This is all very reminiscent of my dad just over a year ago. My dad was so relieved when he didn't have to be poked and prodded etc...and my dad was coherent and could speak easily and he told me he really appreciated when I (as his Power of Attorney for Healthcare) didn't have more procedures done on him...he just wanted to rest, and he did.
Looking back, it was far harder for me and those of us caring for him to stop treatment than it ever was for my dad...he was relieved. He had come to terms with his condition and much like your dad (it seems) became uncharacteristically irritable with nurses and the other wonderful caregivers who constantly tended his needs.
It sounds like your dad (like mine) has come to terms with his condition and is ready for whatever comes next...looking back I think...at least he had the choice, he made it and hard as it may be, because we love them we accept it also.
With a son like you, it is proof he was a great dad and set a good example...his legacy is you and your familly. Tell him you love him as often as you can...he hears you...and wish him the best forever...he goes to a better place as a reward for the life he lived. Your e-mail network/friends etc are all with you and your family!! Celebrate your dad...he deserves it.
Hi P,
I'm truly at a loss for words. I admire your great strength in keeping us, those who care about you and your family, abreast of your dad's condition. I feel blessed to have met your dad :) I can't fathom what you are feeling right now, except to say that a year ago I lost my favorite aunt to ovarian cancer. This was an amazing and gregarious woman who was a positive and humorous force in my life. I was able to spend a few days with her (over Memorial Day ironically) before she left us last September. I got a tremendous amount of peace in holding her hand and talking and laughing with her. (Her condition unfortunately declined significantly after our meeting). She fought valiantly for three years and is with me every day.
I hope that you too find some peace in comfort with your dad. What a tremendous achievement in knowing that he raised such a caring and brave son!
Please take care of yourself; you and your family continue to be in my prayers.
P,
I want to thank you for your willingness to write, your openness to share and the eloquent composure you've conveyed during this difficult time. The status of your father's condition, has kept him in the forefront of our thoughts and prayers. It has brought my own life into focus, and caused me to reevaluate my priorities and reconsider what's important. As I'm sure my Mom has e-mailed you many inspirational quotes, I can't help but throw out one more.
"As we look deeply within, we understand our perfect balance. There is no fear of the cycle of birth, life and death. For when you stand in the present moment, you are timeless. "
- Rodney Yee
While I have been separated from family by distance in miles, the absence has made memories more apparent and love grow stronger. At present I am on my way to Europe; in spirit I'm standing with you in Omaha. From your dad, I learned the value of hard work, the science of investigation and through him I see the genetic connection to my analytic and engineering mindset. Bob Dylan once said, "He not busy being born is busy dying." Perhaps today I am born again; perhaps I'll be a musician. Or perhaps I'm still an overworked, stressed out, sleep deprived engineer who could go no further on a set of preliminary roadway plans without stopping to pause, reflect and say thanks.
With deepest sympathy and utmost hope,
No comments:
Post a Comment